"I regret the first time I had sex. I was too foolish and naive believing that everybody has been doing it but really, they're not."

I still remember how the wind breeze brushes to our faces that moment. Nothing can be heard except for the silent whispering of leaves through the winds. No one else was there. I am with her and, we are alone.

It didn't came into my mind that a great situation like this will happen. Less I wasn't prepared. Least I am happy.

Too much silent. Too much boredom. Yeah it kills us. From a simple touch of hand. To a tight grip. We are playing like kids in a game not meant for them. Tongues seems at war like sabers and swords. My hands were like water poured and spilled at her body. While her's chain locked at my neck. Too much intensity. Heat rises up, the natural aircon fades. Perspiration is evident. Silent screams of pleasures resonates with squeaks from the engaging mouths. It feels utterly good.

It wont be over yet. Least it just got started. I still remember the way I pointed up, which means I wanted to go up. Yeah in heaven, but actually, on my room. Our body was glued while walking up the stairways. In my room, the clash did continued on my mushy bed. Little by little, and now we're completely unconcealed. My mind exclaimed, "This is the most beautiful landmark I've ever seen!". I can feel much more of her heat. Too much to explore, the saber wont get tired. The water still spilling. Perspiration more evident. The resonance increased.

As what I had said, I wasnt prepared. But still, we kept on going. It was never been easy for us, will always be for every newbie. I wanted to stop as I dont want to see her cry more. It was a confusing mix up, her tears from pain and another slicky liquid from her pleasure. And so the rythmic movements did started. The frequency of resonance increased inevitably. Still, the leaves were dancing in a tune the wind sings as we reached the highest pedestal known only by us.

Weeks did passed.

Delayed period. Worries. Fear. Regrets. All were running in my mind, as well as her's too. Something's really not going good. A big problem. Really it is. I dont know what to do. Abortion? Suicide? All are insane options. Im getting paranoid about it, and Im sure she does too. "I wont leave you. I will take care of you. I love you." those words did helped to prevent her sanity to gave up.

There is no way of escaping this through abortion. I doesnt want to risk. If using crazy medications to drop the child failed, it would live up as an abnormal one. I dont like it. If using crazy and painful exercises failed, I might loose a wife. I dont like it more.

So there is no choice but to face our mistake. We tried to get on with our lives. Mental tortures always occurs at my head. "how we will able to give a decent life to that child? How we are going to live? How will they accept this?" but I know she suffers more, even with physical pain for her young body.

I was 19 and she was 18. I can still remember how her parents and house elders talked to us. I never thought that the next time I'll be talking to them was with that issue. We didn't hide it, because it cant be helped. If they love us, they will understand us. It's hard for them. All their dreams for their daughter banished in reality. On my side, it's the same. I just did proposedly that my girl will live in our house. Her parents agreed. Mine dont seem to have objection. It was so much pride tearing to me as I was so dependant on my parents. What had happened was, we got married, I continued on schooling, while she stays on our house, taking care of the angel inside her.

It was never been easy for me. As how my friends and peers that knew me sees me. No one did thought that a guy like me will be engaged in this kind of situation. But that didn't drive me to stop reaching for my dreams of giving a decent life to my wife and my baby, my own family. I did strive hard. Though I also got peer pressure problems with my wife's friends and peers.

It was never been easy for her. Least I also feel pain everytime I see her aching for something in her. This was completely inverted feeling from what had happened months ago. All I can do is to give her all the things she wanted. All the comforts I can offer. I never fail to be a husband to her, I took good care of her, I really love her.

I was so completely nervous and nulled and worried and excited while we were on the hospital. I just thought that father might also been like this when I was about to be born. Few hours passed, they brought me my first angel, a baby girl. It looks like just her mother, her skin tone, her nose and her lips.

Then a year later, I never thought I would be celebrating four occassions: being licensed as a nurse, my daughter's first birthday, our third year anniversary as boyfriends, and lastly, her death anniversary.